On May 21, 2011, I had been on medication for 4 months. I woke up fine that day. It was literally the first day I had slept through the night, since THE panic attack and the first day I had woken up without trembling, or a nervous stomach, in about 7 months. Just one week earlier, I had ventured out to Orlando with the kids and had a little episode.
My son wanted to ride Soaring. He was 6 years old at the time. To be honest, I wanted to ride Soaring also, but I hadn’t been on any major rides since THE panic attack. One thing about kids is that they will make you do the craziest things! I agreed to ride with him and started the line.
The line was indoors. It was a narrow hallway full of strangers. It was just me and my son and nobody around to help if a panic attack would hit. It was hot and stuffy and I found it difficult to breathe. I didn’t have Xanax on me, or anything cold to drink. I started getting nervous, but pretended everything was fine. I didn’t want my son to be afraid.
There was about an hour wait in the line and I didn’t think I was going to make it. My son had been talking to me the entire time we were in line. I was just nodding, smiling and giving one word answers. Then I thought that maybe I should just focus on what he was saying and try to distract myself.
He was talking about Buzz Light Year. We had seen him earlier in the day and he was able to take a picture with him. That was around the time the movie Toy Story was out (not sure if it was the first one, or the second one). We were talking about the movie and our favorite parts. He was so excited about riding Soaring with me, that he was talking the entire time. It was adorable. Before I knew it, we were ready to ride. For the first time since THE panic attack, I was able to actually distract myself from having a panic attack.
I had never been able to stop a panic attack before, but because I was on medication (Pexeva), I was able to. That would be the first time of many, that my kids would distract me from panicking. It was awesome because the fear of going anywhere alone with my kids, was replaced with the need to take my kids everywhere with me. It was what I always wanted – to be able to do anything and everything with my children.
I still took Xanax after Soaring to calm down a little bit more. If I’ve learned anything about panic attacks and anxiety, is that it feeds on itself so I thought it would be best to get rid of it completely.
Everything on this trip was hectic and stressful, but I was able to get through it with only that one minor episode. Another point for me! 🙂
Continue reading my story here: