Anxiety Medication, Getting Help for an Anxiety Disorder, Tips

Giving Up!

When I was younger, I expected to be married before my 23rd birthday. I was devastated when at 24, I was STILL SINGLE! I didn’t even meet my husband until I was 27!

I always expected to have children. When my first pregnancy ended in a miscarriage, I was overcome with sadness and an unexplainable emptiness. I never imagined a life without kids.

When I had my first baby, I expected it to be easy. It wasn’t. I felt like a failure when I couldn’t easily figure things out, or get everything done.

When I had my 2nd baby, I expected it to be easier than the first. It wasn’t. It was harder! My 2nd child was nothing like the first. I had to learn to do everything in a completely different way, while taking care of a toddler! I was overwhelmed and stressed.

I expected to always be happy, energetic and patient. That wasn’t the case. There were many days where I was unhappy about something – my job, my body, or money. I wasn’t sleeping at night so I was always exhausted. Being tired, made me impatient with everyone – even the barista at Starbucks! All of this led to guilt.

I expected to find a solution to every problem and be able to fix anything that was broken. I could not, however, fix my anxiety disorder or stop the panic attacks. I never expected to need medication for a mental disorder. I expected to be able to get through it on my own, by thinking happy thoughts, or breathing, or exercising. That wasn’t the case. It was this expectation that almost did me in. Expectations are dangerous, so I am giving them up!

I no longer expect anyone to be genuine, I never expect anything will be easy, I go on interviews, but do not expect the promotion. I do not expect to find a solution to any problem. I am giving up on expectations, but not giving up on HOPE.

Hope keeps me searching for answers and for solutions. Hope keeps me trying new things to live a better life. Hope keeps me believing in better and brighter days!

Hope is being able to see the light even when you are surrounded by darkness.

Give up on expectations, but never give up HOPE!

2 thoughts on “Giving Up!”

  1. Thank you so much for sharing… it opens my eyes to a whole host of things, I just thought were a result of not enough or lack of planning, management and preparation behind our abilities… But i see things in a different light. This I hope can truly help my daughter Erica and will convince to see a Dr. Instead of giving in and thinking the worst of herself always. I too can benefit. Have suffered much of the same, which is why I can espresso myself this way…. But she has so much life ahead of her. Thanks! Keep it coming. You are touching many lives!!

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