At the bottom of this post, I copied a section of the spreadsheet I kept during this awful time. I kept a daily log, but I hid rows to only show weekly, then monthly. It wouldn’t fit otherwise!
You will see that after two weeks on an SSRI, I reduced the Xanax from five times per day, to three times per day. I was tolerating the anxiety, but it was still going strong and after two months on the SSRI, I switched to extended release Xanax which lasts 8 hours, instead of 4 hours, for me. This was a great decision.
On April 28th, a little over 3 months on the SSRI, I finally felt a change. I was taking Xanax XR three times per day, but instead of 1mg, had reduced it to .5mg. The change was subtle. I had still woken up in a panic, but I wasn’t shaking as much. I still had a nervous stomach, but didn’t feel as nauseous. I felt like eating a little more.
I changed the Xanax back to regular Xanax instead of extended release. I felt brave enough to lower the dose.
On May 21, 2011, 4 months on an SSRI, I woke up fine. It was literally from one day to the next! I was on the SSRI for 4 months and on Xanax three times per day – two at .5mg and 1 at .25mg. I couldn’t believe it! After all that time suffering, all that time feeling nervous and nauseous constantly, every night waking up gasping for air, my hands trembling, crying…it was ALL GONE. ALL OF IT.
I woke up on this day, after sleeping through the night, feeling perfectly fine! I was not nervous. I was not nauseous. I did not have any heart palpitations. My hands were steady.
On 9/21/11, 8 months on an SSRI, I was no longer taking Xanax. Two months later, I increased the SSRI to 30mg. I had been feeling great, with a few moments where I felt like I needed Xanax, but didn’t want to take it, so my Psychiatrist increased the dose a little and that was it. I would live panic attack free, heart palpitation free and fearless for the rest of my life so far. I DID IT AND IT FEELS AMAZING!!!!
Check out my obsessive compulsive spreadsheet…
…to be continued here:
2 thoughts on “May 21, 2011 – The Worst is Over”
You defeated it! I’m very proud of you. I’m very, very happy. Love you, XOXOX