The first session with a hypnotist was calming. He was able to get me to focus on a black and white swirly wheel, then close my eyes and focus on a white light in my mind.
On this day, I was feeling the usual – nervous stomach, nausea, a little shaky and a racing heart. This was my norm. It was better with Xanax, but I could instantly feel when the Xanax wore off.
The hypnotist decided to take a different approach this time. He would attempt to distract my mind from anxiety by asking me questions, quickly, so I would not have time to think about the anxiety. This was a disaster.
He started with the spinning swirl again and tried to get me to a subconscious state. I did my best to get there, but there was just no way. He then began asking me to solve math problems. If I took too long to answer, he would give me a different problem. If I got it wrong, he would say “wrong” and move on to another problem.
I started to short circuit like a robot who had too many inputs. I started getting nervous because I wasn’t answering quickly enough. If I gave the wrong answer, it would agitate me. While I was processing why my answer was wrong, he was asking me another question! Then boom! Mind blown, sparks flying out of my head!
I said, “ok WAIT!” (Breathe in, breathe out) “ I need a Xanax.” He said “ok, there is nothing wrong with that.” I took a regular Xanax (not XR) and we continued.
I closed my eyes but I could no longer hear what he was saying. I could not think about anything except getting out. So I did.
I stood up, apologized and said “this isn’t working.” Then I walked out and quickly fled to my car. He followed me! He wanted to make sure I was ok and handed me a meditation CD.
I was so thankful and appreciative, but couldn’t express it. I had started crying and didn’t want to make him feel bad about it, like if it was his fault. I just looked away and said “ok, thank you, bye” like if I was late for something.
Needless to say I didn’t go back but often think about letting him know I am ok now…and that his CD was really good…and that math problems on a subconscious level suck just as much as math problems on a conscious level! BAD IDEA!! Stick to the white light!
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