Recovering from an Anxiety Disorder

Short Stories – My Husband

Anxiety Medication Takes Time to Work

I have been on Pexeva and Xanax XR for 4 weeks. Most people start to feel better after 2 weeks. I have never been like most people when it comes to anything medical or health related. For example, I am allergic to some tree in Africa, that nobody else in the world is allergic to. Most people are allergic to pollen, mold and dust, but I am fine there! I am deathly allergic to dogs and I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE dogs, but not allergic to guinea pigs. Seriously? In high school I got the Whooping Cough, which is something that babies get – not teenagers! I have always been an anomaly in the medical world. My pediatrician and my parents had a few good laughs at my expense when I was growing up. So it comes as no surprise that Pexeva is not working yet, like it would have for most people, and that the Xanax wears off hours before it should. That’s just me.

Anxiety Doesn’t Let Me Enjoy the Park

During this week, my husband suggested we go to a park for a walk, to see if that would help. As I walked through the park, I had a nervous stomach and a lump in my throat. My facial expression was one of torture and pain. Someone watching us, might have thought I feared for my life and the man walking next to me had just threatened to kill me. The park was beautiful and it was a bright sunny day. The park was serene and quiet, but I could not relax. The longer we stayed, the worse I felt. The harder I tried to relax, the more anxious I became. I wanted to throw up. We decided to leave.

Anxiety Doesn’t Let me go to a Restaurant

On another day this week, my husband and I went to have lunch. I had not gone to a restaurant in months and did not know what to expect. We went to a Mexican restaurant that I had never been to. You basically build your own taco, or burrito. As I looked at the menu and all of the options, I started to panic. Why are there so many damn options? Do I want chicken or beef? Do I want a soft or hard taco? The menu started to blur and I could not breathe. Something as simple as ordering food was overwhelming! I looked at my husband and said “I can’t” and ran out of the restaurant. Good times.

Anxiety Medication is Kicking In!

A few days later, I was sitting on the couch, watching TV with my husband. We weren’t even talking. Suddenly I realized that I had a little more energy than usual and did not feel too sick. I asked him if he wanted to play Xbox with me for a little while. That is something we played all the time. We were extremely competitive and whenever we started a new game, we had to finish it. We hadn’t played in a few years because of kids and life changes, but the kids were not home. He turned to me in slow motion, like if he was afraid he didn’t hear me correctly. He stared at me for a few seconds. I wasn’t crying, I was smiling. He said “sure?”, with some apprehension. I started laughing and said I was feeling a tiny bit less nervous and less tired and wanted to take advantage of it. So we played Xbox for about an hour. I think that was the first time in about 3 1/2 months, that my husband saw a sliver of the woman he remembered me to be. The old me was trying to come back to him.

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Short Stories – My Mom

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