The Beginning of an anxiety disorder

First Visit to the Doctor

Primary Care Physicians and Mental Disorders

Most primary care physicians are not easy to get a hold of. If you have a really good one, then it is even worse! If you try to make an appointment, they will see you in three months. If you say it’s an emergency, they tell you to call 911. Neither of those options appealed to me at a time where I felt like I was seriously going to die, but knew I probably wasn’t. I called the doctor’s office Thursday afternoon, after I fled from work, and told the lady on the phone that I was going tomorrow, to see the doctor. I received some resistance, but I think it was obvious, by the sound and shakiness of my voice, that I needed some help. She agreed to try to find time for the doctor to see me. I did not want to drive by myself and asked my mom to take me. You can imagine what I must have looked like when I showed up the next day because I was let in pretty quickly.

Emergency Room Panic Attack

The ER visit was Monday and I went to see my doctor on Friday. I had not slept well all week and when I did manage to fall asleep, it was only for a short while. I would wake up gasping for air and trembling. Then of course I would start crying, mostly because I did not know what was happening to me. All I could think about was not being the best mom for my two little ones. My hair was in a messy ponytail, I had no make up on which only highlighted the dark circles and puffy eyes. Also, the second I would start talking, I would start sobbing. Then I would start laughing because I was crying. I make fun of that situation soooo much now! It happened all the time. Crying, laughing, crying, laughing. It was exactly what I pictured someone would behave like, if they were having a nervous breakdown. Is that what was happening to me?

Anxiety Plan

I saw the doctor and explained what happened. I had high blood pressure that day, even though I had never had high blood pressure before in my life. Anyway, that was the least of my worries. We came up with an action plan for my “nervousness” and I left feeling hopeful. The explanation was that I had an adverse reaction to Prozac and it was still leaving my system. In the meantime, I would take “Lorazepam” three times a day to stay calm until I was rid of all traces of Prozac.

The ER visit was Monday, the first appointment with the doctor was Friday. I had the weekend now, to rest and sleep. By Monday, everything would be ok. Right?

Wrong! Please continue reading here: Week 2 – More Trouble

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